Sunday, January 1, 2012
1.365 The New Year
I spent the day with Cleo re-organizing my room. Two years ago, we moved from the downstairs flat (ugly) to the upstairs flat (pretty) with the contingency that after 2 years, my landlord would put our house on the market to sell. I decided to not get attached - and pretty much left parts of my life boxed. Apparently CDs were part of that - which now seems strange since I love music. My personal yarn stash and knitting supplies have also been left in boxes.
Simultaneous, to our move upstairs, Verb was really taking off and taking up a ton of my time and energy. Six months after we moved upstairs, we decided to lease the new space, and start building the new shop. Needless to say, I put my personal life on hold, and fully submerged myself into Verb, creating and managing the shop and dye studio.
I learned a month ago, that my neighbors who rent the cottage in back of my house, are moving, and that my landlord has agreed to rent to new tenants. I take this as a message that he will not sell the house just yet, and most likely we have another year in this house - though I have not been able to get a verbal confirmation.
Today, I decided to unpack my boxes. It was bittersweet. I came across business cards from people met over the past five years, others who were starting businesses. I wonder where they are, and how it's going. Going through the boxes, I remembered music I liked to listen to, photos of when I used to travel. Today, Verb felt grounded and stable, I was able to step back and to start seeing my life apart from Verb. It's exciting. It is necessary for my happiness. It is scary.
Hard to explain, as Verb has been such a huge part of my life, a dream I've had, that has come to fruition, it has also served as a distraction from my life. It is too easy to blame Verb for the lack of time I have to create, to blog, to exercise. I hope this year, Verb will continue to stabilize, I will have the spaciousness create more boundaries around Verb and to create more, just for my sense of expression instead of always with Verb in mind. Small steps are possible.
I am curious to see how my life emerges as I work this year to balance my personal space with my professional space; my life as a manager and a business owner, with my life as an artist.